The Things That Keep Me Up at Night

Oh sure, I have your garden variety worries, like “how will my kids go to college”, or “how long will a bad catalytic converter last before the cylinder heads in the engine blow”…

But I also have a concern of a different kind that I like to visit every now and again:

It worries me that Solomon fell out of devotion to God even after receiving more wisdom than human-kind had ever known.

I don’t like how, after devoting a lifetime in the desert wilderness to finding the land of milk and honey, the Israelite’s heart much sooner became again, defiant, once they got there.

And it gives me no small twinge of discomfort when I consider that the once-bright angel Lucifer was able to turn away from God, even as he was able to see God’s majesty and glory unveiled, face to face.

I wonder, will the unchanging God still have need to be a warrior God even when the old earth has passed away? If God is Redeemer now and eternally, what does that say about my need for redemption eternally?

I have no trust in myself or my staying-power, nor should I. But I don’t like that.

So one night, after spinning out once again in each scenario, concluding each time that I am forever-need; I lay there, quiet, and I heard it:

“You are no match for my patience”.

It made me swoon. It made me dream about falling backwards, arms spread wide, into a thousand arms of grace. It made me willing to accept my forever-state.

From the beginning, and in the end, it is God who will save me, and He knows this.

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